20th March 2016.
This is the day my life changed. Lol dramatic I know. But I truly believe my life has been split into two halves. Me before my dad died, and me after. I am not the same person anymore, because I no longer have my dad with me. But life goes on.
As much as I hate to admit it, I see my dad in myself more and more everyday. Whether that be in a quick glance in the mirror, the language/phrases I use or the way I react to things. I am more him than ever. And it’s weird.
I used to call my dad and talk to him for hours about what we’d been up to and who had annoyed us both recently. Since we had similar personalities being annoyed by something or someone wasn’t unusual for us both lol. But I don’t get to do this anymore. And quite often if something happens, I find myself instinctively thinking ‘I should tell dad this’. So not having my dad to give me advice or his opinion on things is really hard and something I do still struggle with.
I think about my dad all the time but although it’s still sad, sometimes when I think of him it’s nice. It can be happy and funny but also annoying too.
So here’s a list of a few things that remind me of my dad:
- The clouds – he loved the clouds and knew all the different types
- The colour purple – his favourite and therefore has always been one of mine too
- My bracelet with his fingerprint pressed into a charm
- The words: nonsense, kid, bonkers
- My eyebrows – I got them from my dada
- The smell of cigarette smoke – Gold Benson & Hedges to be precise
- Roses by Outkast – which my neighbour loves to play on his piano everyday lol
- The mens cardigan section in M&S
- Any Sci-Fi film or tv show that comes to netflix
- Whenever I see any of my uncles – they all look like him in different ways
Most of these things I see and notice daily so needless to say he never leaves my thoughts.
I don’t really know where I’m going with this post so I’ll end it here. But I felt I should commemorate the anniversary on my blog somehow. So here you go haha.
As always thank you for reading,